If you’ve been suspecting that your partner is cheating on you but haven’t been able to do something about it. Chances are, you’re just being paranoid and that there’s nothing to worry about.
But to make sure, don’t snoop, check off these signs to find out the truth and confront them about it instead of ignoring it and letting it ruin your relationship.
By Mariam Elhamy
1. You aren’t sure what they are up to on a regular basis.
If you used to know where your partner hung out and with who but you don’t anymore or they say they are going to one place and end up at another, something might be wrong.
2. They’re spending more money.
A sudden surge in spending might mean that your partner is spending it on someone. Especially if you don’t see changes in their wardrobe or gadgets.
3. They work late, more than they normally would.
They run a lot of “errands” and they disappear on you for long hours on end but they always manage to have a very detailed excuse. The super-detailed stories are usually compensations to make the lie more believable or to distract you from the real topic.
4. You’re spending less and less time together.
Even when you do they’re not actively participating in the conversation or telling you much about their day, they’re just keeping it going. They suddenly seem distracted all the time and very forgetful that you have to keep reminding them of things.
5. They drastically change their style and habits.
Might be because they’re trying to impress someone they think is cooler or out of their league.
6. They shower you with gifts every time you come close to catching them or try to bring up the subject.
Frequent expensive gifts are usually a sign that they are trying to make you believe that they couldn’t possibly be with someone else. It works as a distraction too especially if you get sidetracked by a little bling-bling.
7. They are constantly angry and frustrated at you
They say things like “you’ve changed” or “why can’t you be more adventurous or fun?”. When someone is cheating they try to rationalize their actions to themselves by simply blaming their partner or the relationship for being different than what they wanted.
8. You’ve had “The Talk” about what constitutes cheating
If they’ve brought up what actions you consider as cheating then they might not exactly be cheating but there’s probably something wrong that you need to talk about. It’s also a bad sign if they ask you what you would do if they cheated, and a really bad one if both questions were asked consecutively.
9. They want to know where you are all the time
For no other reason than to not get caught red-handed.
10. A new phone number that you didn’t know about, a secret email account, a new password on their phone, a wiped out search history, and they have to excuse themselves to answer the phone and when you ask about who it was they say something vague like “work”, these are all clear signs that they are hiding something from you.
There are other signs/personality traits of people who are more inclined to cheat than others, these people are:
- Good liars
- Have no sense of guilt
- Have cheated before (whether on you or someone else)
- Have one or both parents who cheat
- Were afraid of commitment to begin with
Note that if you check off one or two of these signs it might not mean your partner is cheating but the more signs you check off the higher chance they probably are. If you, god forbid, find out that they are, we would recommend that you wait until you feel calm and ready to talk to them about it and sort things out.