The Hows and Whys with Dr. Georgette Savvides
It’s not just about the fantastic wedding, or the romantic honeymoon. There is a lifetime together to build, step by step. Leading psychologist and counselor Dr. Georgette Savvides addresses the most common questions and situations that should be an important part of any pre-marital discussion.
CWM: Dr. Georgette, what are the 5 most important things a young couple should discuss before marriage?
GS: It is very important for couples to talk openly about the relationship they want to have after marriage, for instance how will they deal with their in-laws, finances, their separate social time, their sexual preferences and intimate relationship, their daily chores as well as responsibilities.
What is covered in a marriage counseling session?
I start with an assessment of the current status of the relationship and its quality, find out about areas of differences between them and then I put a treatment plan to handle the problematic areas in the relationship.
What problems commonly arise in the first months after the wedding?
Sexual problems, interference from in-laws and the various pressures they put on the couple, e.g.when will the couple have a baby, asking for financial help, communication problems and lack of attention to problems.
How can these be avoided?
Clear, open communication and transparent discussion about acceptable and non-acceptable behavior, expectations and likes and dislikes will help avoid many problems later.
What are the key factors that can help a marriage work?
5 essential areas to keep the relationship alive
What are the main factors that cause a marriage to break down?
Lack of trust, lack of communication, resentment, mostly silent expectations that are not communicated, high emotional demands and interference from friends or family.
How can a young couple learn to deal positively with any differences of opinion and challenges that arise?
By respecting each other’s opinions and reaching compromises.
Does it help to involve the in-laws in some pre-marital counseling sessions?
Never involve them, unless they are the cause of the problems. A relationship consists of a man and a wife, not the whole family.
Do young people have a clear enough idea of the responsibilities involved in marriage, and what to expect?
No, and unfortunately it is generally the case that the realities of the relationships are not communicated before they start their own family life.
What are your 5 top tips towards maintaining a healthy relationship and keeping love alive?
- Communicate simply and openly
- Have no expectations
- Always keep separate time for yourself
- Spend quality time with your partner and make it fun
- Stay intimately close